Best Quotes from Wes Anderson Movies
Bottle Rocket
Dignan: “What a lemon! One minute it’s running like a top, and the next it’s broken down on the side of the road. And I can’t fix a car like this, because I don’t have the tools! And even if I did have the tools I don’t know if I could fix a car like this!”
Dignan: “Okay. There, you see the star is me, right there, and I’ll be in there. The X is Anthony. Bob, you’re the zero out here in the car.”
Anthony: “One morning, over at Elizabeth’s beach house, she asked me if I’d rather go water-skiing or lay out. And I realized that not only did I not want to answer THAT question, but I never wanted to answer another water-sports question, or see any of these people again for the rest of my life.”
Anthony: “Grace thinks I’m a failure.”
Dignan: “What? What has she ever accomplished in her life that’s so great?”
Dignan: “How does an asshole like Bob get such a great kitchen?”
Dignan: “So is Mr. Henry coming to se me or…”
Anthony: “Well, I don’t think so Dignan. He actually robbed Bob’s house.”
Dignan: “You’re kidding! Wow. I almost robbed that place myself.”
Dignan: “It was… It was – it’s landscaping, not just mowing.”
Anthony: “Hey man, don’t listen to that guy.”
Dignan: “I don’t know, sometimes I… I mean I’m not always as confident as I look.”
Anthony: “Did you see what he had on?”
Dignan: “Yeah, it was pretty cool.”
Rushmore
Max Fischer: “I like your nurse’s uniform, guy.”
Dr. Peter Flynn: “These are O.R. scrubs.”
Max Fischer: “O, R they?”
Max Fischer: “Also, you’ll find a pair of safety glasses and some earplugs under your seats. Please feel free to use them.”
Dr. Peter Flynn: “I understand you’re a neurosurgeon.”
Bert Fischer: “No, I’m a barber, but a lot of people make that mistake.”
Max Fischer: “So you were in Vietnam?”
Herman Blume: “Yeah.”
Max Fischer: “Were you in the shit?”
Herman Blume: “Yeah, I was in the shit.”
Dr. Nelson Guggenheim: “We don’t offer a post-graduate year.”
Max Fischer: “Well, we don’t offer it yet.”
Mr. Littlejeans: “Best play ever, man.”
Herman Blume: “Sharp little guy.”
Dr. Nelson Guggenheim: “He’s one of the worst students we’ve got.”
Herman Blume: “She’s my Rushmore.”
Max Fischer: “I know. She was mine too.”
The Royal Tenenbaums
Royal: “Can we get somebody over here to kill these mice for us?”
Margot: “No. They belong to Chas. Or anyway he invented them.”
Royal: “Get him to stick them in a fucking cage or something.”
Eli: “Why would a reviewer make the point of saying someone’s *not* a genius? Do you especially think I’m *not* a genius? You didn’t even have to think about it, did you?”
Royal: “I’m very sorry for your loss. Your mother was a terribly attractive woman.”
Chas: “Why did you try to kill yourself?”
Ethel: “Don’t press him right now.”
Richie: “I wrote a suicide note.”
Chas: “You did?”
Richie: “Yeah. Right after I regained consciousness.”
Ethel: “How long have you been a smoker?”
Margot: “22 years.”
Ethel: “Well, I think you should quit.”
Raleigh: “She’s balling Eli Cash.”
Raleigh: “Are you ever coming home?”
Margot: “Maybe not.”
Raleigh: “You’re joking.”
Margot: “No.”
Raleigh: “Well, I want to die.”
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
Steve Zissou: “Anne-Marie, do all the interns get Glocks?”
Anne-Marie Sakowitz: “No, they all share one.”
Steve Zissou: “I know, honey. Look at the map. We go your way, that’s about four inches. We go my way, it’s an inch and a half. You wanna pay for the extra gas?”
Steve Zissou: “We’re in the middle of a lightning strike rescue op, Klaus. What’s the deal?”
Klaus Daimler: “I’m sick of being on “B” squad.”
Steve Zissou: “You might be on “B” Squad, But you’re the “B” Squad leader. Don’t you know me and Esteban always thought of you as our baby brother?”
Klaus Daimler: “I’ve always thought of you two as my dads. Please don’t let any one make fun of me for saying so.”
Steve Zissou: “I can’t guarantee that, Klausie, but I’ll try. Can we get on with the maneuvers now?”
Alistair Hennessey: “I’m so pissed I want to spit!”
Jane Winslett-Richardson: “I’m going to have to start locking my effing door.
Steve Zissou: It was locked, I kicked it in. Why don’t you just curse like other people?”
Jane Winslett-Richardson: “Because I’m trying to get out of the habit before I have my fucking baby!”
Steve Zissou: “Oseary, this is probably my son Ned.”
Steve Zissou: “Ned, next time you have a brilliant idea, whisper it to me first. Otherwise I look sort of like a Day-Dream-Johnny, you know.”
The Darjeeling Limited
Jack: “What did he say?”
Peter: “He said the train is lost.”
Jack: “How can a train be lost? It’s on rails.”
Francis: [spotting some children crossing a river] “Look at these assholes.”
Francis: “Where are the savory snacks?”
Jack: “What?”
Francis: [pause] “Did you just fuck that Indian girl?”
Brendan: “Why are your eyes so red?”
Francis: “Why is your head so bald?”
Francis: “You don’t love me!”
Peter: “Yes I do!”
Jack: “I love you too, but I’m gonna mace you in the face!”
Peter: “I’m gonna go pray at another thing.”
Peter: “I love the way this country smells. I’ll never forget it. It’s kind of spicy.”
Fantastic Mr. Fox
Mr. Fox: “Why a fox? Why not a horse, or a beetle, or a bald eagle? I’m saying this more as, like, existentialism, you know? Who am I? And how can a fox ever be happy without, you’ll forgive the expression, a chicken in its teeth?”
Kylie: “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but it sounds illegal.”
Mole: “I just want to see… a little sunshine.”
Mr. Fox: “But you’re nocturnal, Phil. Your eyes barely open on a good day.”
Mole: “I’m sick of your double talk, we have rights!”
Petey: “Now those three farmers sit ‘twhere there’s a hole ’twas once a hill. / Singin’ diddle-dee daddle-da doddle-do doodle-dum! / And as far as I can reckon they’re a-settin’ up there still. Singin’ zippy-zee zappa-za yappy-yo…”
Franklin Bean: “What are you singing, Petey?”
Petey: “Erm… I just kind of made it up as I went along, really.”
Franklin Bean: “That’s just weak songwriting! You wrote a bad song, Petey!”
Mr. Fox: “Tails don’t grow back. I’m gonna be tail-less for the rest of my life.”
Ash: “Well, anyway, it’s not half as bad as double pneumonia, right? I mean [Kristofferson’s] dad’s got one foot in the grave and three feet on a banana peel.”
Mr. Fox: “Redemption? Sure. But in the end, he’s just another dead rat in a garbage pail behind a Chinese restaurant.”
Ash: “What’s that white stuff around his mouth?”
Kylie: “I think he eats soap.”
Mr. Fox: “That’s not soap.”
Kylie: “Wha- why does he have that…”
Mr. Fox: “He’s rabid. With rabies.”
Mr. Fox: “Your tractors uprooted my tree. Your posse hunted my family. Your gunmen kidnapped my nephew. Your rat insulted my wife – and you shot off my tail. I’m not leaving here without that necktie.”
Moonrise Kingdom
Sam: “I feel I’m in a real family now. Not like yours, but similar to one.”
Suzy: “I always wished I was an orphan. Most of my favorite characters are. I think your lives are more special.”
Sam: “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Suzy: “I love you, too.”
Sam: “Why do you consider me your enemy?”
Redford: “Because your girlfriend stabbed me in the back with lefty scissors.”
Sam: “She’s my wife now.”
Redford: “Congratulations!”
Walt Bishop: “Holy Christ, what am I looking at here?”
Laura Bishop: “He does watercolors. Mostly landscapes but a few nudes.”
Walt Bishop: “Did she sit for this?”
Sam: “Those sons of bitches, they got him right through the neck.”
Suzy: “Was he a good dog?”
Sam: “Who’s to say? But he didn’t deserve to die.”
Sam: “Sometimes I stick leaves on my hair. It helps cool your head down.”
Suzy: “Hmm. That’s a good idea. It might also help if you didn’t wear a fur hat.”
Cousin Ben: “I don’t like the snappy attitude. This is the most important decision you’ve made in your lives. Now go over by the trampoline and talk it through before you give me another quick answer…”
Sam: “Why do you always use binoculars?”
Suzy: “It helps me see things closer. Even if they’re not very far away. I pretend it’s my magic power.”
Sam: “That sounds like poetry. Poems don’t always have to rhyme, you know. They’re just supposed to be creative.”
Thank you, Wes Anderson, for your poetry.
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